At some point in our lives we have all faced trials and tribulations. Fortunately, we are not judged by our trials and tribulations, nor how we react during them, but by what we learn, and how we are shaped by them. This article will offer some insight and advice concerning personal development.
Seeking a mentor is a great step to improving your self-esteem, as well as in gaining the wisdom you will need to face life’s difficult situations. Think about the people in your life, and approach someone you truly respect. Meet with them for lunch or dinner once a week or even once a month. Try to learn from their experience and gain wisdom from them.
Try finding out what you want out of life and what you hold dear in your life. Try to figure out what your personal values are and how you apply them to your life. You need to be aware of what is important to you and what in your life gives you pleasure and pain.
Keep your focus and avoid procrastination. Procrastination can really make things take much longer and you risk missing important deadlines by doing so. Waiting to do your work instead of just doing it and getting it done as soon as you can is also counterproductive. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can relax.
While you may need to make sure that your keep your technology current – especially if you work in fields where you always need to be up-to-date – please don’t just throw your old technology away. Take it to a place that offers proper disposal. We don’t need anymore harmful chemical leakages in landfills from old decomposing machines. You will feel much better if you do your part to care for our environment.
Schedule time for your personal development to make sure it does not get lost in the chaos of daily activities. Developing yourself takes effort and commitment and deliberately scheduling time for development activities gives them the importance they deserve. Whether you schedule short blocks or longer ones, the key is to make your personal development a documented priority.
Anything that befalls us in life is an opportunity to learn and grow. Sometimes it is hardship that causes the learning, and sometimes it is extreme fortune that results in growth. However it happens, personal development is the key to leading a successful, happy and fulfilling life. Like Socrates says, “The unexamined life isn’t worth living.”
Tips For Avoiding A Divorce
If you have a marriage in trouble but you want to avoid divorce, you should know that you have great options for saving the relationship. The exact resources and tools used to put the broken pieces back together will depend on the reason for the problem. As an example, if your wife or husband was unfaithful, counseling can often help sort things out. Therefore, prior to doing anything, you need to identity the reason for the problem in the first place.
Other than infidelity, couples struggle with financial issues, which is a huge factor that can lead to divorce. Typically, both couples work full-time, which helps pay for the house, car, raising kids, paying bills, and even vacation. Unfortunately, many couples overextend, meaning they live on borrowed money. Of all factors, credit cards are the most common problem.
When more money goes out than comes in, massive stress takes over, leading to fights. Before long, the husband and wife are disagreeing on who makes more, what should or should not be purchased, who was at fault, and so on. Then to make matters worse, phone calls and collection companies begin to call wanting to know where the mortgage, car, or credit payment are. For the married couple, it soon becomes too much to handle.
If you find that you and your spouse are on the verge of divorce specific to problems with finances, for the sake of the marriage, go visit a finance advisor or credit counseling company to help get things back on track. In this case, counselors would act as the go-between for you and your creditors. In fact, these counselors are professionals who help set up a repayment plan and then work on a budget for the future.
Just because a married couple is having financial problems does not mean divorce is imminent. In fact, using a mediator or counselor can be a huge assistance. The reason is that the blame-game ends so the problem can reach a solution. Start by putting any differences aside and stop blaming each other. Then, create a solid plan for getting out of debt while also saving money.
Most importantly, to avoid divorce, start communicating. Unless you talk, you can never work things out. Keep in mind that good communication does not mean yelling, it means talking as adults. Therefore, take time so the two of you can sit down face-to-face to discuss the current situation, regardless of the problem. If anger is too high, the services of a professional marriage counselor can help. Just remind yourself that it takes time but with dedication and determination, divorce can be avoided.
Sexy Stuff To Give Your Boyfriend On Valentines
Whether we admit it or not, men think about sexy all the time. This is a fact that cannot be overemphasized one bit. So to make this coming Valentine’s Day sexier; it is good to gift your guy something that would appeal to his sexy cravings. Ladies get your wallets and purses ready because this time you’re the one to blow your man’s mind away. Here are some great sexy gift ideas for your boyfriend this Valentine’s Day.
Create a sexy ambiance with scented candles. There are lots of options that you can try to make the moment extra sexy for your man. Sexy sometimes is a state of mind and no better way to appeal to the senses. Light up some candles and have some mood lighting in the room. Let him relax and allow him to feel the moment. When he is relaxed you can start massaging him to finish the mood that you started with the use of scented candles.
Make him go crazy with a great and sensual massage. Get some massage oil and learn a thing or two about massage. When you are up to the task, have him relax and allow you to do your thing. Some massage oils are scented. This will add up to the sensation as an alternative to scented candles that may be dangerous due to the flame in certain situations. Smoke coming from the candles may trigger the smoke detectors that may ruin the moment for the both of you.
Chocolate syrup and some whipped cream
Whip up some cream and have some chocolates lying around. Chocolates have chemicals that are able to make their mood exciting and more special. Use the whip cream in naughty situations that you can think of. You will definitely blow your man’s mind with the exquisite use of these food products to lead a very sexy night.
There is no object in the world that spells kinky than a blindfold. Get a sexy-looking blindfold and put it on him. Start with a nice massage and proceed from there. Take control of your man by shutting off his sense of sight and let his other senses gather the steam of your romance. Surely he will be waking up in the morning as a happy camper.
Not for him though; but for you. Pick the sexiest lingerie that you can pick and then wear it on Valentine’s Day. Make yourself an eye candy with very sexy lingerie. Men are most likely to be stimulated by the things they see. Seeing their wife or girlfriend in a sexy outfit will surely launch fireworks from the belly. Whether we admit it or not, men fall for lingerie hook, line and sinker.
Show up at his place of work wearing edible underwear underneath a trench coat. As people go out for lunch surreptitiously take the edible underwear. Give it to him as a present and tell him he can have it, literally, for lunch. There are two possible scenarios that will happen after: one he will freak out or two he will laugh his gut out knowing that you made a very sexy effort to make this Valentine’s Day a memorable one.
by Daniel E Lee
Understanding Women on Valentine’s Day
One complaint that many men have is that they just don’t understand what women expect from them on Valentine’s Day. This can make planning for Valentine’s Day a very stressful experience for men. They are worried that the gift they buy will say the wrong thing or that their gift will be misinterpreted by their girlfriend or wife. As a result they often wind up either doing too much or too little on Valentine’s Day and have trouble finding that happy balance where their gift will be appreciated without their partners reading too much into the gift. The key to finding this perfect gift is to understand women and how they think of Valentine’s Day.
The most important rule for men to remember is that when women say it is okay for you to not do anything for Valentine’s Day, 99.99% of the time they do not mean this. It is true there are some women who really do not expect anything from their boyfriends or husbands on Valentine’s Day but the vast majority will be extremely disappointed if you allow Valentine’s Day to pass without even a card or a small gift. So unless you are absolutely sure your partner is one of those women who really does not care about Valentine’s Day it is a safe bet to at least get a card and a flower for the special woman in your life. She is likely to be disappointed if you don’t.
Now you might be wondering what type of card you should get for the special woman in your life on Valentine’s Day. There are humorous cards available for purchase on Valentine’s Day but again unless you are absolutely sure this is the type of card your partner will like it is a better idea to go with a romantic card. You can find these types of cards expressing a number of different sentiments and are likely to find a card which expresses your feelings about the relationship perfectly. Men may not realize this but women typically put a great deal of time and effort into selecting your card and they may be disappointed if you do not do the same when selecting a card for them.
Men should also be aware that women do not want to be reminded of their diets on Valentine’s Day. Your girlfriend or wife may talk about wanting to lose weight and may be trying to exercise and eat right but this does not mean she wants you to buy her sugar free candy and give her workout equipment for Valentine’s Day. You may think you are doing something great for your girlfriend or wife but trust us on this one, she will think you are calling her fat. If you really want to support your partner in her diet efforts, you can give her a small box of chocolates and a piece of jewelry instead. Conversely, a box of diet cookies and a workout video are not likely to be well received.
Finally, one of the most important things for men to remember is it really is the thought that counts. Women want to feel special on Valentine’s Day. Extravagant gifts may seem like a good idea and may be well received but most women really just want to know that you love them on Valentine’s Day. So whether you give them expensive jewelry or make the effort to cook them dinner they will know how you feel about them.
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Russian Romance – I Love You
Romance and Russia, the two words just go together. Unless, of course, you are trying to speak in Russian.
The Russian language is not one that is typically considered a romance language. Based on the Cyrillic alphabet, there are a lot of stops and starts not to mention the occasional harsh noise. Given the fact that I was from California and thus could barely speak proper English, it was all the more a challenge.
In that I was living in Russia for a year, it was inevitable I would pick up a Russian girlfriend. Hey, there had to be at least one crazy one in the city!
Russian women are much sought after for their beauty and grace. Indeed, 9 out of 10 desperate men prefer to order addresses from a Russian mail order bride web site versus all other nationalities. Okay, I made that up, but you get the idea.
In truth, I found Russian women to be all they are touted to be and excellent cooks. As a single male in Siberia sans microwave, the cooking part was critical. Due to the lack of Pepto in Siberia, poisoning oneself is not recommended.
Still, Russian women do suffer from one flaw inherent in all women. Upon finding a boyfriend lacking in certain areas, a Russian woman will endeavor to fix them. In my case, the improvement involved the Russian language and love.
Ya tyebya lyublyu! This is the Russian phrase for “I love you.” At no point in time could I pronounce it correctly. I could declare my love, but never in the right direction. Because of the nuances of the Russian language, my inability to profess my love would lead me to say the equivalent of:
“I love tree”
“I love door”
“I love dog”
Of course, I could cuss like a local, but that was frowned upon by the girlfriend.
After months of aggravation, my girlfriend became determined to resolve this flaw in my moral character. Practice was the key and practice I did. Like that odd person in the bookstore, I mumbled “Ya tyebya lyublyu!” everywhere I went. This often led to random Russian women smiling at me and less enthusiastic Russian men giving me harsh looks. I won’t even mention what the occasional dog tried to do to my leg. Despite my efforts, my immortal soul could not be fixed. We gave up. Still, she had the determined look in her eyes, so I knew I wasn’t out of the woods yet.
One fine Siberian winter morning, which is to say it was –30 degrees, I was groggily greeted by an excited Tatyana. I was ordered to say “yellow blue bus.” I did. I was told to say it faster. I did. A yelp of triumph was heard across the permafrost of Siberia.
I had learned how to say “I love you” in Russian.
The door to which I had professed my love so many times went into depression.
Is Your Girlfriend A Compulsive Liar?
Ideally, a relationship should be built on trust, respect and honesty. Keeping important things to yourself and not sharing it with your partner might eventually ruin your relationship.
There is such a thing as being a compulsive liar. If you are in a relationship and you love your partner too much to let him or her go, then you might want to take a look at the signs and reasons behind being a compulsive liar:
This bad habit can stem from having a very low self-confidence.
There are several reasons why one would compulsively or deliberately lie.
One of which is having a low self-esteem. If you do not love yourself enough, then you can never love anyone else completely and selflessly.
Having a low self-esteem can later on lead to compulsive lying.
Take this as an example. A girl who had a humiliating childhood experience or comes from a broken family is very ashamed of her family background.
Before she finally reaches adulthood, she is at a very awkward stage where it takes very little to wound her fragile ego.
As a result, she makes up stories about his family background, and lies about herself.
Once she sees that her stories are weaving magic on other people and the stories make them like her, what is the result?
She will keep on weaving lies, and this habit she will take with her until she grows into a mature adult.
People with this complex never think that they are, nor will they ever be, as good as the people around them. In the above example, once the girl turns out into a woman and she is at a stage where she begins to have relationships, guess what will happen?
Instead of breaking the chain and finding ways to stop the habit, she will keep on lying to keep a man interested.
In the end, she will never have a stable relationship because the truth about her will come out eventually.
What if my girlfriend IS a compulsive liar?
If you are a man with a girlfriend who is a compulsive liar, there is a very high probability that you will get hurt in the process. Once you find out about the web of lies that she told, will you still find it in your heart to forgive her?
Unfortunately, having a relationship with a compulsive liar is quite harmful to other people’s feelings.
Compulsive liars cannot help lying ‘even to their loved ones’ and if you have a girlfriend with this condition and she does not want to seek help, then you are at a crossroads.
As heart-wrenching as it is to let go of somebody you love with this kind of situation, you have no choice but to let go. Otherwise, you are just letting yourself in for more heartbreak.
Compulsive liar sign #1: I am afraid to face the truth.
A compulsive liar feels that it is but natural to lie, so she is actually afraid of facing up to facts. She is always in denial. She wants to believe the lies that she made up, so much so that she sometimes believe it to be true. In fact, she wants it to be the truth.
Usually, compulsive liars develop this habit at an early age and it is carried on to their adulthood.
Compulsive liar sign #2: My lies are better than your truth.
Compulsive liars usually experience jealousy and fear towards other people.
He or she will also feel that since they are so used to lying, they can easily see through the deceit of other people. Thus, they show an air of authority, and they think that other people will never see through their lies.
This develops into a vicious cycle that is even more destructive for the person with this complex, and will surely affect the people around him or her.
Compulsive liar sign #3: I lie for my own purposes.
This statement is actually a lie by itself because compulsive liars can lie for any reason at all, even if they would not gain anything from it.
The habit of lying has become deeply indebted in their system that they cannot escape from it.
The cure for compulsive lying depends on the person herself. If you are in a relationship with someone who is a compulsive liar, ask yourself, is she worth saving? The answer is, of course! Any person who wants to be cured of the compulsion to lie is worth saving.
The key is that she herself should want to change and do away with this habit. With some professional advise, some help from you and your loved ones, then you can take the first step to curing your girlfriend from this ‘disease’ of compulsive lying.
Depression is a serious illness that affects many people. Depression can be mild, moderate, or severe. Often a person can make simple changes to their lives that can improve their depression. Use the tips in this article to help manage your depression. Even a little improvement is worth the effort it takes.
If you suffer from depression, it is important that you talk to someone about how you feel. Whether it is a psychiatrist, therapist, or even a family member or friend, you will find that talking to someone about what you are thinking and how you feel will make you feel better.
For those suffering from depression, try to practice relaxation techniques. If you use these techniques everyday, you may find your depression symptoms reduced and in general, you will feel more relaxed. You could practice yoga, meditation, deep breathing, or progressive muscle relaxation. Have a friend do these things with you.
If you are suffering from depression, take a realistic account of your life now, as well as, your goals for the future. If you believe you ‘can’t be happy until’ you have the ideal relationship, or higher income, or the like, then look at what is really important! Ask yourself if you “
Parenting is the kind of job where you need all of the help and advice that you can get. No one is a born parent and many people find that reading is a great way to gain the knowledge that they need to be successful. This article can help you in your journey as a parent.
Learn how to properly bring your baby to your breast in order to avoid improper latching techniques. A bad latch will cause pain to for mom and a less than satisfactory feeding for baby so it is very important to latch your technique. Make sure to always bring the baby up to your breast and check that he has a large amount of the areola in his mouth for the best experience.
Limit the amount of television your child watches each day. Too much television is bad for your child, mentally and physically. It is one cause of childhood obesity, can lead to poor eyesight, and contributes to feelings of anxiety. Have your child play with toys or go outside instead.
Sometimes squirmy toddlers and kids wiggle their way out of their car seats or learn to unbuckle the straps. Instead of trying to reach behind you and make the needed adjustments, you should pull the car over as soon as you possibly can in a safe spot. Do not attempt to strap your child in while the car is still moving.
Don’t constantly compare your children to others, especially when they are very young. Each child develops at his own rate and many of the earliest milestones do not mean anything about the long term traits of your child. Just because Jimmy speaks faster does not mean that he will have a higher intelligence.
While the advice of close friends and family can be very helpful, you don’t need to listen to the unsolicited tips from every aunt, cousin and coworker. Of course they may mean well, but at the end of the day the child is yours. The same goes for parenting tips from any other source, take them with a grain of salt.
As noted at the start of the article, parenting is a job where you need all the help you can get. A good parent never stops learning. Everyday brings a new experience in the life of a parent. By using the advice in this article, it can help you to be the parent that you want to be.
Finding some great self help tips is the first step in making the changes to your life that you wish to make. This article is packed with great tips and information that can help you in your self transformation journey. Read all about the different ways that you can help yourself.
Make friends who are positive-minded and bring joy to your life. Like-minded people will help strengthen your resolve while reinforcing positive attitudes.
When meeting someone new, try your best to make a good impression. It is said that people judge people they have just met within the first ten minutes of meeting them. In such a short amount of time, try to be yourself and show them how good of a person you are.
Do your best to keep your work at work. Mixing work with home can not only put a lot of strain and stress on you, but it can to your family and relationships too. Try to give yourself a break when at home. If you work at home, keep it in your office or wherever it is that you work; don’t start bringing it to other areas of the home. Don’t be afraid of a break.
Try your best to avoid stimulants. The word stimulants includes things like coffee, energy drinks, and even nicotine. All of these things directly effect your metabolism. While this might not be a bad thing all of the time, you should be wary that it can be. If you find yourself in a negative mood monitor your use of stimulates more closely.
Learn to tolerate other peoples’ discomfort with the word no. Everyone needs to say no to somethings. Otherwise, the other people in our lives will take as much of our time and resources as we have to give them. When someone hears no and reacts negatively, it’s more about them than you. If they persist, ask why they expect you to say no to your own family, health, goals, etc. just so you can say yes to them. Only say yes when it’s something you truly want.
Hopefully some of the tips in this article will prove to be helpful to you. If you take the information that was included in this article and apply it to your life, you are sure to find the better you that you are looking for. Find happy living through learning how to get it.
by American Life League
If Your Marriage Was A Business… Would Your Mentor Help You Through?
In sports the most successful athletes have coaches and mentors. Coaches know how and when to motivate, train, inspire and bring out the best in others. Mentors have been there and done that. While both are important, let’s focus our attention on mentors because they are widely available and most often free of charge and anxious to be of service.
Everybody feels good when someone asks them for advice. Older & wiser people have a wealth of information to share. Business leaders are anxious to share the lessons they’ve learned with people on their way to the top. Sure you can read a book about a person’s success story, but imagine having dinner every month or so with someone able and willing to share their expertise and wisdom. How could a business improve with that practice in place? How could your marriage?
Those who have made it through tough times with a strong successful marriage have something to say about how it can be accomplished. Seek these couples out in your families, neighborhoods, places of worship & work. Examples of unsuccessful partnerships are all over daytime TV. For examples of healthy, fulfilling and long lasting relationships, take a look at the people in your real life.
When you meet people who’ve been married to each other many years how they have made it work for so long. Not only is the question a great conversation starter, but you’ll learn something that you may be able to quickly incorporate into your own relationship that could make a difference and you will make them feel good about themselves at the same time!
At a dinner party thrown by my husband’s business partner, we found ourselves at a table with four couples; all were our parent’s age. Conversation was somewhat ordinary until I asked the question, “What’s your secret to being married more than 25 years?” We talked all night. They each went around the table with their special blend of advice for us “young folks”. Then they went around again with more marriage tips! We all left the party feeling great. They got to be experts on the topic of marriage. They got to feel acknowledged for their successful relationship. They got to appreciate each other all over again by sharing their personal stories. They got to pass along their advice to interested people. They got to feel good by having something to say about an important topic. Everyone was engaged in the conversation. We got to learn from their wisdom and experience.
The evening was a win-win for everyone. You are welcome to go through the experience of marriage on your own, without the wisdom of those who have done it well, but just as I wouldn’t advise a young person to make a career choice without talking to someone in the field, I don’t recommend trying to create a marriage without advise from those who are “in the field”. Successful people who have something to share on the topic of business or marriage will want to save you from the hassle and heartache of learning what they had to learn the hard way. You can do it yourself or take their advice and perhaps save your marriage.
One warning I would be remiss if I didn’t mention here… choose your mentors carefully. Any advisor, paid or volunteer, is only valuable to you if their expertise has integrity. By that I mean that I wouldn’t want a nutritionist who was 100 pounds overweight- that would lack integrity. If, at any point, you believe your mentor relationship is not supporting your goal of a happy, life-long marriage, end your mentor partnership and shop for a new one.
Creating mentors may mean seeking out specific couples and asking them formally to be your “marriage mentors”. You may meet regularly as a couple for a meal with your marriage mentors, or you may meet or talk occasionally as a need arises. There are no rules to mentor relationships, though the best plan is to structure time to connect with marriage mentors to keep that relationship strong.